March 27, 2016

Departed Poetics*

They obsess over your attention
            an obsession that manifests itself in prayers that go on for days
            on end—
selfless to the self, praying in the name of good,
good God; selfish in the eyes of that good,
good God: prayers prayed for the sake of a comfortable
afterlife is not for God, not for anyone but the selfish idea
of selfless surrender.
            Surrender yourself to the flames of Hell,
to burn and burn and not die. Immortality is an eternal curse on fire.
The smoke reaches the polished gates of sparkly Heaven but no one
shouts: “FIRE!”—assuming that people actually live there, in that place that
God was said to have saved for the selfless, selfish bastards.
                        Perpetual happiness that rests on the pain of others will
                        never ever sleep well, will never ever be worthy of God’s
                        quick glance, much less God’s love.
In comparison, our disenchanted life on Earth seems like a luxury,
an abandoned paradise of anguish, and we watch as it evaporates
                                                                                    with humanity’s last breath.
The chance to live for a little while, and to die without any recollection of life
has become a dream we will dream forever—
            if only we were allowed to sleep through it all…
“Forever” stripped off of its poetics,
forever waiting for the possibility of rebirth
in God’s absence.

*Written for Poligrei. Listen to the track here.